It was a dark and stormy night. A shot rang out and Pepi Roni lay dead on the floor.
Who could have committed such a heinous crime?
Was it....
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Rocco Scarfazzi His long lost twin brother with an axe to grind? |
Bo J'alais The swarthy Frenchmen with designs on Pepi's daughter? |
Marco Roni Pepi's bumbling, illegitimate son, stuck in his father's shadow? |
Tara Misu, Angel Roni or Mama Rosa The jilted mistress, the promiscuous daughter or the adulterous wife? |
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After the formalities of the police investigation, Bo was overheard to comment to Angel, the late Pepi's daughter and his date for the evening, "Zees ees dee finest salad I have had seence leaving le France. His complacency would soon be short lived, for as we know that there is no honor among thieves, neither is there trust among murderers! |
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His half-hearted comment was soon cut to the quick when Angel, the city-tough mobstress wanna-be, turned on her French lethario and accused him of untold atrocities (perhaps they were told - who knows) Bo, quickly realized that he was no match for such a ruthless vixen. When asked later about the incident, Bo replied "Sacre bleu, what ees eet with dees American women? Eet ees enough to make me throw away my beret!" |
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Meanwhile, Marco (the inept, bumbling soccer-playing waiter), makes half-hearted attempts at moving in on Rocco Scarfazzi's fiance Tara Misu. Marco turned to Tara during one particularly romantic moment and said, "If you blow bubbles in the wine, it makes you giddy." To which Tara replyed (in her best Italian-Irish english), "Oy, thats'a right!"
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Poor Mama Rosa! For all of these years she thought that Marco would turn professional soccer player, and manage the family restaurant in the off-season. Little did she know that Marco's only hope of playing soccer proefessionally would be to buy the team. But in a strange twist of fate, that would be impossible, because all of the business savvy in the family went to his sister Angel
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Rocco, woozy from the medication he has to take for his incurable disease, dotes on his two-timing (maybe even three-timing) fiance Tara. Here we see him responding to the news that asides from dying, he can no longer father children, has an illegitimate (bumbling) son, has his business being stolen from him, a fiance that's cheating on him and a sister-in-law that's trying to make the moves on him. What's for dessert?
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